Personal Blog Entry

September 10, 2016

Well obviously I’ve been quite busy. I’ve also had a few bouts of severe depression. Mostly because I really do not want to live the rest of my life alone. I will not settle for anything less than someone who will give me what I have to give to them. At this age it’s difficult to find “that 20 year” kind of thing. Seems no one really wants to welcome someone into their family completely, 100% without reservation or restrictions. For instance, “when I die I want to leave the house and everything else to my children”. I’d have to hope I die first or I’ll be out on the streets. I’ve seen this happen all too often.

This actually happened to my Aunt. She remarried after her divorce and they were quite happy for several years, then he began to show signs of Alzheimer disease. They both struggled with this for years and my Aunt took very good care of her husband throughout his illness. After he passed away his children hired an attorney and found a way to overturn his will and a trust that said his wife was able to stay in the house for as long as she lived. They said he was not in his right mind at the time (which he was, but no way to prove it). She had to come up with 65K in order to be able to stay in the house. She fought it, but lost, so in her 70’s she was homeless and had to find another place to live. I personally hope his children will one day know her pain. Little SOBs must have taken after their mother, because Ev was a very kind thoughtful man and I’m sure he was turning over in his grave when they did this. I do not want this to happen to me.

I also knew a neighbor that cared many years for her husband that ended up on the streets because of her step son. She did everything for this man. She was in her 80’s and still worked as a cashier at a grocery store to help them make ends meet. He was not able to work because of his health. The step children were paying their property taxes for them and they would get the house when both had passed. Well he passed away first and the son quit paying the taxes, which he had let get behind, so when he did pay, it was just before it would be lost due to unpaid taxes. She stayed for about a year before it was taken from her. She didn’t even know taxes were delinquent, because they foolishly put the house in his sons name when he agreed to pay the taxes in exchange for the house. It was a run down house with not a lot of value, his son didn’t really want it in the first place. He just wanted his dad to be able to stay in his home till he died. I’m guessing, he was just happy he, himself, did not have to care for his aging father. Shame on him for doing such a thing to the woman who loved and cared for his father for so many years. The taxes were not that much because of the grandfather rule. The man lived in the house over 60 years. The woman lived there with him for over 40 years.

I have been keeping up with my Etsy shop, but have not been adding too much to it. I get a lot of likes for my items that I do have, but very few sales. My eBay sales for the Beta-Orb are better than my Etsy sales, but I only sell my defective orbs through eBay. I do believe many of the ones who favorited my items or shop are going to be back to buy close to the holidays. It takes a while to get my stock, so they will be out of luck if they wait too long. I can’t afford to invest money I do not make directly from sales to get more inventory. My Microphone Pull Chains have become quite popular in the favorites department. I sold my prototype within the second day of the listing, so I ordered a couple more. After waiting over a month for the supplies to arrive, which I found out were never shipped, I had to wait another month for a new supplier to deliver a few. After inspecting them and assuring they would get shipped, I ordered a few more. I’ll reinvest the money I get from sales to order more if they will sell at least 2 months before Christmas. Making them will not take too long.

Brief Update

I’m not quite sure why I did not release this entry after I wrote it, perhaps it was the depression. At times it really gets the best of me. Certainly would be nice to go for several days without shedding a tear, for one reason or another. I’m beginning to believe more and more that I’m an Empath. If people around me are angry, it tends to make me feel the same way, even if I’m not. When my daughter is stressing out over finals or getting her homework done on time, I often feel stressed as well. I can relate to her anxiety and begin to have the same feelings. Perhaps living alone is going to be what can make me happy.

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